Finally Sleep

I am sleeping once again thanks to Elavil.  All Ambient did for me was make me a little high. Which is promising, I can now remember the previous night, and remember my dreams, which is my favorite part about sleeping. I love the stories my brain can come up with, the symbolism, detail and complexity of a situation all comes from my brain. Dreaming is probably the reason I love to sleep, and could stay in bed all day, waking every few hours to remember my dream like a true event that has happened but it never actually did. Anyway my pain since I stopped drinking pop and eating fried potatoes, has been surprisingly better. I never put the two together, and I don't know why. It makes since bad food equals bad body. It makes since just I never grasped it. Weird. I painted a wall today, which I hate. My shoulder doesn't hurt, and after that it is surprising. Good Night.

Work All Day

I hate working in the middle of the day, 1:30  to 10. Which doesn't really mean 10 more like 10:15 or 10:30. I know I shouldn't complain about having a job  but it just sucks working right  in the middle of the day. My shoulder didn't start to hurt until 9 so that made work good, but it is killing me now. I also am feeling stressed with school coming up (money), and my shoulder stuff (money), and just getting from day to day (money).  It just  is all at once and I just can't find a place to just relax and be my age, but I feel 50 with hurting all time and what not.

Pain and Entertainment

A knife in my back. this just started after my shower. Hopefully it goes away before I go to sleep. My shoulder, my shoulder I went and got the X-ray, no news just pain.  The doctor asked me what kind of pain it was and after 4 days to think about it, I know, I came up with this: it starts a dull was sore not too much anymore pain, to a sore muscle ache, to a constant pinching pain, to a constant someone just stabbed me in the should with a 4cm diameter pipe and forgot to take it with them pain.  I can't believed I put up with it for a year.

I also wanted to talk about a movie I watched yesterday.  It was called Timer which it a romantic comedy that released in 2009.  It is about this girl who has a "timer"
     a digital countdown till you meet the one, the man or women that is your perfect match. It goes into your wrist
     and determines something with a love compound to match it with another exact match. Never fails only useful                
     if  your partner to be has one too.
So this girl is panics  because hers has not started to countdown yet, and she is almost 30. So she is obsessed with finding the one without a timer. Till she meets Mikey, a young musician (who has a timer that is counting down.) She falls in love with him even though he is not the one...
It is really good story, funny and has my favorite kinda ending. A what the fuck just happened. I love these endings they are just pulls you in and never lets go till you see another wtf ending.

Doctors?

I went to the doctors today, gave me a new sleep aid, and a different reason why my shoulder hurts.  The last time it was a sore muscle that just needs rest and wanted to give me a shot of cortisone.  I said no because I didn't know what it was or how much it would cost me. So I decided to wait and do it the next time I came in.  Now today he thinks it is a frozen shoulder and wants me to get 4 tests and physical therapy.  I just want the pain to go away.  Some days it hurts so bad I wish it would get torn off.  But I really do not want that to happen.      Anyway he also gave me a new medicine to help me sleep. It is Elavil which is what my mom takes, I think. He said it is really for the pain and it just makes me drowsy. So heres hoping. But other than that my day was pretty good. No bad pain and I just relaxed because I did not have to work.